Clarity

Over the last few days I have been doing a lot of thinking. Saturday all I could think of was how sad I was and how much I was about to lose. The more time that passes though I realize that this is what we both wanted. I just wasn't willing to admit it. We got married too fast. That is a fact. After dating for just 10 weeks we did not know eachother. Over the last eight years I have convinced myself that I was happily married and madly in love. When in reality I was madly in love with the idea of being happily married. I didn't want to be a failure. I kept thinking that if Mike could only do x,y,z... we would be so happy.

I get it now.

I am so sorry for all of the "why can't you just...", and "why don't you...". It was never your job to be x,y,z if it didn't make you happy.